Wednesday, 30 December 2009

not bad meaning bad

it's not too late. you can still get me


can not sleep
I daydream at night. I bounce. For hours. Then a tight bundle of twenty-thousand-things-not-solid-behind-the-eyes-so-called-dreamstate. Little too much too late. I'm like a fucking balloon.

Monday, 28 December 2009

shards of nine

past future

I remember a show that fed in to two house parties, one up, one down and it all melted on top of me and I slept funny on a floor and I felt okay. I woke up before everyone else, I often do, not creepy, just it's quite nice, like you steal some time for yourself, a plus. But anyway i'm waking up in this crazy apartment, this awesome band Talbot Tagora lived there then, Seattle, downstairs someone had recreated their room entirely out of cardboard - a room inside a room. That was cool. And this really nice guy, Robert, it was his house I think, had these stick and pokes on his knees: one knee said "PAR" the other "DEE". That's what I remember. So good. And anyway he just seemed such a nice warm guy and so everyone is asleep, it's morning and I feel okay and I get to the bathroom and this is pinned up in there and it made me feel really amazing and it stuck with me.

"I knocked over his trashcan. So the next night he shot me with his bb gun. You could've just asked. Next time it won't be your trash I'm eating...'ll be your remains. But not just me. It'll be all of us.
We should have done this a long time ago."

Monday, 21 December 2009

Wednesday, 9 December 2009


will never chill
all kinds of amazing/confusing messaging for you here kiddies

slice of saturn in minehead saved me. needed solar myth. needed lift. got that. got smile. until ineviti-crash. i steer funny these days. out of control and all over myself and all over others.
got to brake on broken.

no sir, no.

Friday, 4 December 2009

kill yourself

cleveland oh... hi... oh.

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Saturday, 28 November 2009


What the fuck? Caught myself on my self here.
So here you go a perfect picture of someone else's dream realization cut and pasted on to the end of my own desire.
Fuck my desire got lazy. It's massive, my desire, I got ideas and distorting vision but this weight gets dead. It's getting dusty.
I vision. I motor on optimism but there must be deep down reason why I can't even pronounce that word 'procrastination'.
And words: I'm safe in them, I play with them, sculpt safety with them and
But they're like grids on nature, straight lines and squares. They're like maps and signposts that just direct me to what I know. They just take me home.
I got so lazy. Where'd my action go? Right now even my dreams of doing nothing seem like an empty effort. I'm searching to depend. Wrong search. I can't rely on anything. That up there is someone else's hammock.

Friday, 27 November 2009


both real. both figments.


far as i'm concerned the most beautiful thing ever



Friday, 13 November 2009


Crazy dreams bang on this window.


I love it. America your go-crazy Halloween blow out. I loved it. England, flying in to and landing among fireworks. I loved that. Fleetwood Mac you're a crazy mythical legend too.


My head is compressed.
Despair counter / Deadair.
Buck safety / $afe buck.
Need edges and dirt. Need full steam, full attack but nearly collapsing. If we're about to fall off then please catch THAT moment. Focus on THAT not the big soft warm fluffy whole. The pick dropped and opened a door on to doors. The pick got dropped, the guitar frayed off the beat till the pick got back. It stayed on the tape, that moment. Band stormed on, noticed it's pulse there for a second, felt it's own fucked up heartbeat. Loved it. For a second there.
Now can we have that feeling all over the record please? Douse it. Drown the fucker so we fight back.
And then this falls on to my lap and resonates way more than it probably should:

On top of this valid article is some fine original-mullet, some fine snaggletooth from Bore McCartneys and some cute sticky out ear from George the best one Harrison.
If nothing else.
It's pissing down.

Monday, 2 November 2009

Wednesday, 28 October 2009